working it

I'm going to try and write more frequently... but seriously. it really is hard when you don't have a personal computer and your own net connection. I must have fallen on dark times. I remember a time when I would bite my arm off if I couldn't get on the net. Back in the day.
I am a computerphile with no computer.
It's like being a football fan without access to a TV.
woe is me.
I decided today that karma is a bitch.
I can't really expound on it, but I wonder at times exactly what possesses people to do the things they do. Not only that, but how it is certain people can do whatever the heck they want regardless of the consequences and get away with it, while others do the right thing 9 times out of 10 and get hammered after straying just the once. Or rather when being caught. It's the age old thing of 'why do bad things happen to good people' or 'how come assholes get the nice girls' or 'why am I stuck in this cesspool of mediocrity instead of succeeding in life'
Sometimes it just feels like the shit hits the fan more frequently for me than it should. I think I need some scotch guarding or some teflon coating.
In the mean time, I shall persevere with the forebearance of my friend(s) and keep on trucking (or something)
Life's a garden, dig it.
nyuk nyuk.

I'll have to take some time out to tell you about my friend Big D. I would call him by his name, but he saw it earlier and was sorta preturbed that our shenanigans are being recounted here and thus traceable to him. Albeit not much of our shenanigans are really detrimental to life, limb or reputation. Anyhow. D is awesome. I can't count the number of times I was just wallowing in self pity or some derivation of the blues, where he would just look at me, make a cry baby noise and basically tell me to stfu and get over it, without ever saying those words. Gonna miss the big lug when I leave here. Of course I'll probably reduce my alcohol intake once we stop hanging out every day. muahaha.
Friends, can never have too many good ones. If it came down to it, could you honestly take a bullet for your friends? I think I would for D. Really can't say that for too many of them.

Perspective is an interesting beast. I find myself learning little bits here and there that my perspective isn't the end all be all of everything. It's like finding out Santa doesn't really come on christmas. Money doesn't grow on trees. TV isn't real. etc. I should have known this the whole time, but come on... if you don't believe you're right.. then what do you honestly believe in?
At least I know I'm right most of the time. or at the least, I won't open my mouth unless I know I'm right. ... and I open my mouth a lot :D

Geesh, I'm full of it.
Anyhow.
enough for now.
Hello World, how are you today?

ugh

Last night was one of those nights where you vow to never again allow yourself to taste a drop of alcohol.
I imbibed too much.
Honestly, I don't even quite remember HOW much I drank. I just know I drank too much. There was no vomiting involved, but geesh. I swear I should have been passed out on the ground. I spent way too much money too.
What is the deal here? I wonder if I should just limit myself to Ice Tea and Coke.
Big D got a lot tipsy too. Heh.
Met two really cool girls last night. Randomly of course. It was one of those typical boy meets girl, boy buys girl drinks, boy and girl go out doing goofy korean things like kicking the soccer ball machine and punching bag, boy and girl go do karaoke, boy sends girl home in cab, boy wonders why he let girl go home. bleh.
girl makes boy promise to call her. what the feh.
I have too much stuff to do... so instead I go out wasting money and having a grand ol time.
figures.
more to follow.

lack of inspiration != rockage

i'm tired today.
wondering how sometimes you can be exhausted and wired and bouncing off the walls...
and other times it's just completely draining.
i'm uninspired as well.
not sure i really want to write about anything today.
i wish i was on leave right now.

Something strange lurks ahead.

So.
Last night I went out for a bit to vent my frustrations at the impending political mess in our office that's essentially taking one of the coolest captains ever out of our section into a different staff slot. Completely incomprehensible.

It's a big ol mess.

Anyhow, I got home and started randomly calling people. Since I'm in Korea, at 2 am I figured someone in Texas might be awake (hehe). Well, I ended up calling my buddy Jason, but his wife Elaina picked up the phone. Which is cool cause she's fun to talk to. I call her the frump queen. I offered to buy her a new bathrobe to replace the hideous maroon/lavender I got her like 6 years ago for Christmas (or was it her birthday?). Alas, they have matching new ones now.
I will have to sort out all the stuff floating around in my head and write it down later. Too frazzled right now.
Plus I have to hit the latrine. :D

bah

Why oh why must my first comment be from a spammer?
Hardly the auspicious beginning I'd imagined.

~

I suppose this could just go in the commentary portion.
Hmm.

Oh, Soapbox time.

SPAMMERS MUST DIE.
Bandwidth sucking, server crashing, inbox polluting losers.
I hate spammers. I don't care if I could get a hundred dollar coupon to Starbucks, a bigger 'member' or a brand new laptop from Dell. I do mind getting finger cramps from deleting spam mails. Grr.

So. With many hours looming ahead, I wondered if starting a blog would stave off boredom and otherwise occupy me. Blogs are funny beasts. There's a plethora of them these days. I always wondered how it is that people would run across a blog in the first place. The ironic thing is a lot of blogs are turning into these semi-pretentious mutual appreciation societies.. all linking to each other, patting each other on the back for clever turns of phrase or pedantic observations of one sort or another. Speaking of which, I wonder who will link to me and tell me I'm right on.
-snicker-

So, when did the net get turned into a 'Real World'esque reality netvee crapvehicle? It's bad enough that TV got turned into an abysmal mess of trash with nothing to offer except an avoidance mechanism for real life... but the net is turning into this pop culture black hole devoid of any real substance...
...this blog is probably no exception.

I suppose the net has always been an escape. Games, chatting and websites galore of useless crap. But it seems like with the advent of AOL and its ilk, the average user of today is an ignorant tard compared to the user of 1993 when the net was mostly the demesne of collegiate nerd types hellbent on exploring this newfound information shmorgasborg. God I miss those days.

It seems there are three main type of blogs.
1) Vanity blogs. Self indulgent, my life sucks, blah blah blah crap. completely useless, but sometimes amusing. Internet diaries.
2) Political blogs. These are more interesting at times but oft annoying due to the 'I'm right, you're full of shit ' modus operandi so prevalent with internet politicos. It's so easy to hide behind a keyboard.... -snicker-
3) Theme blogs. Exactly like it sounds. I don't think I need to explain this one.

I was trying to sort out in my mind exactly what kind of blog mine was going to end up being. Then I realized, I'd probably annoy myself reading over all the self important blathering I was posting here. So. No agenda.
Just pure and simple mindless babble. I need a release. Ergo. Voila. Eureka! etc.

This blog.

What's funny is when I forget exactly what my username or blog title is. I seriously wonder if anyone else will read this.

Personal stuff.
I told someone I was interested in them today. Then I realized after I'd sobered up that I had told two other girls in the past week that I was interested in dating them. One was an ex, another was a girl I'd been on a date on and the third was someone I'm having dinner with Thursday, the fourth was someone way too young and way too conservative to have any semblance of a carefree relationship with .... wait a second that's definitely more than two... what is going on.

So. I guess it's dating via the shotgun effect. You pump out a wide dispersal pattern and hope it hits someone. Pathetic.

Crazy thing is, I do like all these girls. Each is attractive in their own way. I can't say it's purely physical with any of them because well... I haven't been physical with any of them.. except the ex. but that's a long story.

Funny story though. My buddy told me dating her again would be opening up a can of worms... but really I couldn't for the life of me remember why we'd stop dating in the first place. Then I remembered. She dropped the L bomb in the first month... what kind of insanity is that? I got shivers and the insta-cold shoulder. Gave that is. I felt bad, but how do you reciprocate?

I don't know what to do. Doesn't matter anyhow, I'm leaving this joint in 40 days. PS. Don't ever move anywhere north of Seoul proper. It's just a matter before you implode. I mean implode, not explode. The weight on your shoulders get heavier day by day, where eventually you shrink into a teeny event horizon with no chance of escaping the binds of this world o crap. Did I mention I was stationed at 2ID? Faux hurrahs and false pride. And at the same time. I'm going to miss this place. It's been home for almost two years. I probably wouldn't have appreciated Korea as much as I do if it hadn't been so horrible at this unit. This place essentially FORCED me to go off post because existence is such an endeavor in futility here. In order to breath some soul back into yourself you had to leave the confines of the gates after a day of drudgery and well for lack of a better word. Crap.

Anyhow. I have more thoughts for you later.

This should be good for now. Enough ranting.

Insomnia owns me

Unbelievable.
I've been up for over 40 hours and I can't sleep now.
Grr.
So what do I do? I leave my room, go eat some piping hot 留����援� and continue the insanity that is insomnia.
My head hurts. Ugh.

who me goth?

You could be anyone by day, when the only thing that could give you away is the occasional band shirt and all the EBM in your cd collection. You probably have a day job, have alot of other interests besides goth, or are just too lazy to dress up for anything besides a club night. I bet you love 80's music.

What kind of goth are you?

Created by ptocheia

I had to laugh... but how did they know i liked 80's music o_O